Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
I walked into a room this morning and someone asked how my back was because I apparently threw myself off the porch after attempting to set myself on fire. Who the fuck let drunk me play with fire?!
Better question: who the fuck planted a tree next to the porch?!
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
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