If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
40s are totally the cure
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize