addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
Randomize