the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
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