im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
Naked. naked and bneed help.
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
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