when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
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