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Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
Sex in the backyard? Check.
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