I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
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This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
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Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
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