When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
Randomize
