I think i peed on brittanys purse
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
23 People Reveal The Worst Culture Shock They’ve Ever Experienced While Traveling
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
27 People Confess Their Proudest Fap
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.