i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
These 25 Drunks Should’ve Gotten Cut Off A Long Time Ago
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
27 Freshmen Who Really Didn’t Know What They Were Getting In To
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit