I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
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