If hangovers were people John Goodman would be living in my skull trying to eat the back of my eyes
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
I AM VODKA MAN
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
Randomize
