its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
Randomize
