girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
Randomize
