Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
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