Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
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