WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
Last time i carry you out of a forest
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
Randomize
