hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Randomize
