On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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