im drinking this country out of the recession.
Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
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