The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
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