I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
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