My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
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Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
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Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
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