Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
Randomize
