Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize
