Umm I'm too high to move.
Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
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