I fell asleep on the toilet again last night...
After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
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I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
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I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
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