Midget sex pt 2 tonight
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
Randomize
