I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
