We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
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