Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
What did we do last night that was yellow?
Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
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