What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Randomize
