I am going to give you the keys to my place
Then I'll give you the keys to my heart
Gag me
shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
Randomize
