so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
