Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
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