She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
And then my night got REAL pukey
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
Randomize
