Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
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