I am in a vortex of obligation.
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
Randomize