Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
Randomize
