He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
Randomize
