this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
Randomize
