How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
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