I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
Randomize