so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
Randomize
