maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
