I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
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