The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
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