i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
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