so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
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