if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
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