they said they heard you say put it in my butt
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
Randomize
