i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
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