i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
