how can u be prego again
I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize
