You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
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