Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
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