They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
All I want for Christmas is my co-worker's speakerphone to be thrown against a brick wall, and the remains burned in a backyard fire while I roast a hot dog over it. Is that so much to ask?
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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