I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
Randomize
