You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
Randomize
