hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
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