I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
Randomize
