I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
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