return my video game
I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
Randomize
