We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
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