Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
Randomize
