They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
I just found puke in my bra..
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
Randomize